Run and Hide

I am a hider. When I am tired, I want to retreat and hide. When I have a difficult conversation, I will avoid it. When I see someone in the grocery store that I would rather not see, I have to resist the urge to quickly scoot down the next aisle before I am seen. Some of this is my introversion. Anyone who reads this and knows me will not be surprised. On the Meyers Briggs stuff I come out INTJ. I would rather hide and reflect than stay and fight. That's me anyway.

But this is more than introversion - it is being human. When Adam and Eve hear God coming after they have done what they weren't supposed to do - the next thing they do is hide. Moses runs and hides after he murders an Egyptian. Saul hides when he's afraid he'll be picked as king. Elijah hides from the murderous Jezebel. I could go on - but you get the picture. We are a race of hiders.

And hiding isn't always as straightforward as these example. We hide in busy-ness so we don't have to face something or someone that needs our attention. Adam and Eve covered themselves with leaves - we do it with calendar pages. We hide behind the face we show to the world, introvert or not. We hide behind other people (sometimes literally). We hide behind our perceptions and our fears and our ignorance.

And what we ultimately hide from is God, just as Adam and Eve did. Always. Because God wants us to be naked - not physically. But to have nothing between us and Him, nothing between our lives and His life. Nothing in the way of experiencing a light and love and goodness and mercy and wonder that is then reflected from us so that others can see it too.

But this is painful - because to stand in this light is to admit all of it - the stuff that light shows that I don't want to admit even to myself. It means being vulnerable to God, yes, but also to others - others who don't always (even the best of them) share the light and love and grace. All of which can be painful. If you expose your skin to the sun and you aren't careful, you may get a sunburn. But that doesn't mean that we should wrap ourselves from head to toe either does it?

So where - and why - and how - are you hiding?